Mid-night break downs

The feeling of breaking down in the darkness of nights is pretty much normal for me.
But tonight its a little different.
Im standing with a mug of coffee in my hand while the sky is charcoal gray and weeping onto the earth. The wind is blowing and its raining heavily , feels like a storm .
The wind
The Thundering
The rains
awakening me !
I wonder how brutal it is that at some point of time, million things can make us sad and nothing truly makes us happy.
Often our will power flatters,
Often our determinations crumbles,
Often our wisdom turns blind eye.
Often our expectations fall on our face.
All I want is my pain to numb and my soul to disappear somewhere.
-Elica frank

elica frank

Inevitable change

onces lived a girl
people called her lively,
she could never be all to girly,
all she wanted was to shine as a perl

with a vibrant purple soul
pinky promises to forget foul
over weighted with extra mass
anger bubbled in her red bright
when she was stopped from being right
as innocent as yellow she was
she wanted , nothing but just might

dreams and desired crushed inside
in a world that has no end
Life had no chance to mend
in a world of tears!
no one even tried to hear
every monster leaves thier mark
in a world soo dark!
all the dreams and desires giving up
tears all dried
determination strived
the poor soul surrendered with no strength to fight
in a world of no light!
later on all they said
was its all right !
-elicafrank

Dreamy image

I want to be
The girl in my dreams
The one so selfless,
Who’s exactly how she seems
And knows exactly what you mean.
I want to feel
something that is real
Not an ordinary life not for me
An perfectly imperfect girl
Thats who once I was
Thats who I aspire to be again
I long to find
The way to be kind
So unlike the person I have been
Who works hard.
And can normally behave straight
Who can adjust and accept the defeat
Someone who gives up on challenges
Someone who avoids mingling with friends
This is soo unlike the real me.
I aspire to become
Soo loyal and true
Someone who breaths normally
Adamant on who she wants to be
Past the school memories
I dont want to be
Someone like me
At least not the me I am now
Someone who procastinates away
I want to be
Someone newer and better
Who knows the right
Who has the courage
Who can do it
I don’t want to be
Someone like me.
elica frank

elica frank

the lantern of my life

When you are a kid a baby you have this superman who is always there with you apart from the undieing and remarkable love and support your mother gives you he is always there for u supporting your mother your ‘father’.
Your father plays a very special; role in your lives. While your mother cares for your wounds your father teaches you to look forward and not let little things stop you from reaching the goal.
Yes my dad is my super hero and my ideal. I love him soo much
And I miss him. So im typing out everyword coming to my brain at this late night.
Talking about it makes you feel better let it be anything.
expression gives satisfaction not just to the listener but in many cases it give way more satisfaction and relaxation to the person speaking.
yet I know someone who is specail
really very specail and close to my heart the relationship we share is given a name which I really don’t  want because we share a relationship which does not include expression or direct interaction . Its like without saying I know him I know him all without him expressing I know what he feels may be sometimes im a little perplexed.
when distance took its place is our this relation of 18 years
things seem to fall out of place,
few words expressing many emotions a little wired communication,
the  insecure feeling,
with some communication
without any expectation
the feel of wanting him by my side because things ultimately seem to fall in place on their own.
memories and the realization of not having you any near makes me  hypertrophic.
The fact of not being able to decide to choose between the present and the future.
sometimes it feels im just being selfish and missing out a lot without the two awesome people in my life here and then im the victim of drapetomania.
just a little buring desire to meraki  and feeling  alate.
-elica frank

image

elica frank