Tranquil quest

Endless rants and cavils going on between us force you to stay away from me in order to avoid another conflict ? Some more misunderstandings ?

  I have known you for  years now and I know how your attention and affection feels like ; i cannot take in any less ! my expectaions had raised so high, that they felt like a burdern for you ?  some years back I remember sipping my coffee and you reached out for my hands, intertwined our fingers and looked straight into my eyes and u said, “baby your dreams are my aim of life now. I’ll fulfil all of them. All you have to do is dream, and leave the rest to me. ” – the strange part is even after all this time I remember every conversation word to word and the worst part is I cant mask my emotions like you do.

But Words are just adjectives to meanings, just as verbs try to define actions of people and memories are just reminders of good times turing into bad, happiness into pain, desire into disgust. Its 12 am and I lay in bed writing this out but somethings aren’t meant to be explained or expressed but meant to be just perfectly untamed and a beautiful mess of emotions, lies, promises and betrayal of fate.




“Promise me something.”



“Promise me it doesn’t end here. I know we are falling apart. I can feel it in my heart and soul, that we are falling apart at the seams. I can’t bear it. I can’t stand it. I feel like I can’t breathe because I’m scared that this is it. I’m petrified that this will be the last moment I’m alone with you. I’m scared that this is it and I don’t want it to end here. Promise me that we don’t end here.”

“I walked through a proverbial hell for you and with you. I held you while you cried. I tried to remain strong and some moments I was so weak I cried to you over the phone or just hugged you and let the tears flow, let the heart beat raise and fall. Because in you I gained strength. In you I found love, friendship and companionship. I can feel it too, that we are falling apart, but I can promise you it doesn’t end here. A bond – where you are the spark in my darkness, color to my life, reason to survive, aim of my life, happiness to my soul, sugar to my coffee. A mental connection like ours, a physical attraction like ours, a chemistry like ours- can not be forced  and we aint lucky we are blessed to have it. THIS BOND OF OURS IS WONDROUS AND ETERNAL. It doesn’t end here, it doesn’t end here not in just one lifetime.”

-Elica frank(tbh/memoriesofhim//Excerpt of a book I’ll never write)